I don't know how many of you readers subscribe to the Sprout Channel (it's part of our digital cable package), but for those of you who do, I have some questions. I'm going to try to keep this list a short sampling of the many MANY questions I have. These are the most pressing.
1. Noddy. If Noddy is a child and is learning how to paint and look at the clouds for the first time, why do the citizens of Toyland entrust him with driving a car? And how lame is it that he's named after the fact that he nods his head around? I mean, I scratch my arse - does that mean I should be called "Arse Scratcher?" Come on. ANYTHING is better than Noddy.
2. The Bearenstain Bears - why the hell is poor Mama Bear so damn frumpy? I mean, Sister and Brother wear normal clothes. Papa Bear looks kind of hokey with his overalls, but he can't top Mama Bear who is forced to wear a frumpy blue cap. I will NEVER wear such a cap.
3. How lame is it that they couldn't call it "April Fool's Day" like everyone else and had to call it "April Fun Day?" What, is "fool" no longer politcally correct? Let's just call it "The Day That Shall Not Be Named" instead. SO lame.
4. Are Bert and Ernie gay or brothers? I don't particularly care, but I just really want to know.
5. What drugs were the makers of Teletubbies on? Moreover, how is it that the fundamentalists fixated upon poor Tinkie Winkie's man purse (i.e. his "murse") when there is so much other stuff to fixate upon in that series? Like the obvious drug use by the creators?
6. Why don't the dragons on "Dragon Tales" breathe fire? Who ever heard of a dragon who doesn't breathe fire? And why are some of them conjoined twins? I don't know, I sort of see dragons as the badasses of the fairy tale world. They ought to breathe fire and scare the hell out of everybody.
7. Alec Baldwin does the voice for "Thomas & Friends." I find this hilarious that he now must do children's programming. Is this funny or am I just depraved? Probably a little of both, but I'll put the question out there anyway.
8. No, this isn't any comment on my political views (which are waaaay to serious for this blog), but did anybody else notice that Bob the Builder's motto is the same as Obama's? (Can we do it? YES WE CAN!)
9. Why doesn't Caillou have any hair? I realize that in French the word "caillou" can mean "bald," but I think that's weird. Why does he have to be called "bald?" It makes no sense to me.
10. Do you think the friends of people like Nina from "Nina and Star" on the Goodnight show make fun of them for doing children's television? Especially when they have one-sided conversations when they look at the camera and say "Do YOU want to learn how to do it? You DO? GREAT!"
Ok, that's all for now. I feel better having gotten that off my chest.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
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38 comments:
YES YES YES! Yes to it all.
PS. The Noddy song creeps me out but i can't stop listening to it.
I'm not familiar with these shows. We have the channel Noggin with our digital cable. It's the same thing just different shows. My hubby and I often try to figure these shows out though. There's just no rhyme or reason with some of them!
I am agreeing completely and laughing really hard! You are too funny.
~The Bearenstain Bears: I have often thought to myself that Mama Bear needs a fashion lesson BADLY!
~I didn’t realize that they weren’t/didn’t say Aprils Fool Day. That is pathetic.
Hmmmm….Now I’m very curios as to your political views!
~My kiddos love Dragon Tales and it gets on my nerves. All I can say is grow some balls! lol
What happened to shows that they had on when we were little????
Great post! Have a good day.
Hey I just read your that your hubs is in Iraq....and wanted to say “Thanks for all that you BOTH do!”
I am so with you on 2, 4, and 9. I have acutally thought the very same things! I may need to check into te sprout channel we dont' get that
OK. I watch Sprout and I was just thinking some of the same things. First off, I don't let Jonathan watch the teletubbies because they scare the crap out of me.
Second, he won't watch Noddy because -- well, it scares the crap out of me.
Third, I never thought about Mama Bear's outfit, but now that you mention it -- what is with that?
Fourth -- April Fun Day? Really? Missed that.
Fifth--they're friends. That's all There is a web site where this is apparently explained. Don't ask me where.
Sixth...no comment on the dragons...I agree but they annoy the heck out of me. I still let Jonathan watch them.
Seventh...Alec Baldwin -- oh yes, I wondered the exact same thing. As I listened to him I couldn't help feeling like I was listening to a child molester! I know he was never charged with this, but it still made me feel weird.
I didn't know that about Caillou's meaning and I kind of wondered why the four year old is bald too.....
If it were me, yeah, I'd make fun of those people who look at the camera and ask questions too.
I had a post similar to this a couple months back....so this one just cracked me up. I went off on Max and Ruby!
I (seriously) do not let the Miss watch any of those shows except Sesame Street. Sure, she's a Dora Minion extraordiare, but that is her father's fault. All his fault.
And? Bert and Ernie have to be gay. Even if they aren't (but they are), I dig that they are teaching a widdle bit of tolerance. About pigeons and baths. Or something.
1. The Noddy song literally drove me to drink one afternoon.
2. Mama bear actually has a job outside the home in some episodes. Though she still wears her shower cap to work. I like to think of Mama Bear as a liberated feminist who wears the hat ironically.
4. Bert and Ernie are Hetero-Lifemates. Hence the separate beds.
Baby Bear and Telly, however, are cross species homosexuals all the way. Though since Telly has been on the show since the early '80s at least and Baby Bear is a more recent addition, and is named "Baby," perhaps its more cross species NAMBLA action.
5. Teletubbies? You want a true moment of drugged-out psychosis, look at their follow up. Boobah is too awful for wrods. The characters don't even make the semi-intelligble speech of a Teletubby. And there is no narrator. They just squee. Children blow presents into a vortex of light and dance in cirlces on video loop. *shudders* And don't even get me started on the story time people. Of COURSE a hispanic mother and black father make an asian girl and white boy children.
*weeping softly in the corner now that you've made me relive this horror*
Okay most of the shows out know are why these teens are going on shooting sprees. Think about it.
We were all pretty good in our generation. Then teletubbies came on, and noddy, and all the other bs.
Hence kids started shooting.
I am not saying this to be funny either.
There was a What Not to Wear with a woman/girl who did children's programming and she was f-ing nuts. I think they're all crazy.
I'm pretty sure Bert and Ernie are gay, but good for them. :)
Sorry I have no clue. I've never even heard of the Sprout channel. I barely share the TV with my husband, you think I am going to share it with someone who has the attention span of a goldfish?
My question...does Robert actually KNOW Robert is a frog? Wait...maybe that's a different channel. Still, a valid question.
Also...Sprout lies to my children. At the end of the goodnight show, they say they're going to sleep. My children believe them and head up to bed. But...if I forget to turn off the TV, 5 minutes later, the star's up again. If they blow Santa for us, I'm filing a lawsuit.
Have you ever seen Charlie and Lola. I think that show is super cute
Why doesn't Caillou age like every other human? He's been the same age for ever.
Teletubbies is the creepiest thing ever. I will NEVER let my child watch it!
What ever happened to Ninja Turtles...wait, I guess babies are too young for ninja fighting and pizza. Darn.
OH MY GAWD --- I so needed this right now I just left my pedi. office and they said my kids tonsils look like a hot rod drove into them and exploded GREAT where's the vicodin for mommy???@!!
I can't stop laughing seriously and I agree with butterflyfish BOOBAHS is the most horrific thing since captian kangroo although I loved the good ole captain ;)
We're disney freaks here only bc most of the other channels will annoy me to all holy hell and make me drink mommy drinks at night time and if that happens no one goes to bed bc it's party time =)
SIGH off to clean some more!!!!
The girls and I try to bet each other on how long it will take in an episode of Angelina Ballerina for her to start crying. (Did you know Dame Judi Dench is the voice of the dance teacher?)
Noddy can go crash his car and I wouldn't miss him.
I don't understand why, in the land of bears, the Bearenstain Bears are the ones who get to be called Mama, Papa, and so forth, while the other bears actually have names.
Missed the April Fool's thing, too.
Bert & Ernie are definitely gay. (And you should really see Avenue Q, if you get the chance. Sesame Street for adults - leave Sumo at home. Puppet sex is involved.)
I banned the Tubs long ago from our house, but I'm guessing LSD.
They can breathe fire!! But it's not something that happens naturally. They've done whole episodes on fire-breathing. Have you NOT been paying ANY attention?!?
I did not know that about Alec - I definitely see the sick humor!!
Hey, Bob the Builder's way better than the Disney show - Handy Manny. How did that get past the FCC is what I want to know!
Damn you for bringing up Caillou - the most infectious theme song EVER.
LOL - I do think that Nina is thoroughly tortured by her friends and family. I had a friend who did music for Barney - the scariest dinosaur EVER - and we poked fun at him all the time!
Sorry for the long comment - hey, you asked!
Whenever I watch Nina and Star, I swear I can see Nina's thoughts.."I'm pretty, I speak Spanish, why can't I get on a telenovela"
We don't have that channel, but some of the shows are on PBS.
I LOVE teletubbies and so do my kids-probably because both my kids looked like the sun baby. And when Wynnie was little, we watched Boobah every single day. What's not to love about the dancing, colorful scrotums? Pink, blue, yellow, orange. Loved them all. Zing zing zing bah!
I laughed the night Dragon Tales met a 2 headed leprechaun (?) and called HIM one person, but the conjoined twin dragons are CLEARLY 2 different dragons. Hypocrites.
We laugh that George Carlin is another narrator for Thomas. Where did they pick up 2 of the angriest men on the planet to narrate for a children's train show? Too funny!
Oh. My. Gosh. I think I just peed my pants a little. SOOO hilarious! I did a similar post a while back. I swear the Teletubbies say "naughty" phrases in some sort of code. I bet if we looked in mama bear's closet she has a little black dress....it probably just has snot on the shoulder and she doesn't have time to take it to the cleaners. And don't get me started on Caillou. I think he needs a little bit of cheese to go with his whine!!!!!
The Canadian version of Sprout is Treehouse TV. Be ever thankful that you don't have to deal with Daniel Cook. Yeesh.
When my oldest was Teletubbies age, he was enthralled. I was appalled. It's soooooooooo slow! And then it repeats! Kind of neat how quickly you get used to that, though. I started enjoying specifically to annoy Jerry Falwell. And before George Carlin, Ringo Starr was Mr. Conductor on Thomas.
I really think Bert and Ernie are lovers. I've always thought that.
Ringo Start used to be the narrator for Thomas and Friends. He rocked that narration.
Dragon Tales- kinda cute, actually. I never really thought about the fact that they don't breathe fire. ha. At least they don't blow bubbles or something stupid like that.
Hmm... Poor Mama Bear. Maybe she needs to go on "What Not to Wear"? We should nominate her.
Off topic but I just wanted to know if it's my computer or do your readers also see a sign in your idaho survey box which says:
Google
Error
We're sorry...
... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer
I'm not kidding this is what I'm seeing here.
1. My husband loves the theme song. I hate it and JJ the jet plane.
2. I hear that, I always think she is in her jammies.
3.I didn't see that, but I was happy to see the lets go show on after 5 that day.
4.I think they are gay or brothers, I don't care either way.
5.Don't watch that one, it kind of freaks me out.
6.I never thought of it that way. You have ruined them for me I now think they are a bunch of sissies.
7. George Carlin does it sometimes do, how he can hold back throwin' down the 4 letter words I don't know.
8.Never notice that one either
9. Another one I hate.
10. LOL, I wondered that today about blues clues. Did steve and joe get made fun of for doing the show? Yay hurray it's been another fantastic day.
here's mine for you
why did they voice over all the singing on Barney, couldn't they find kids that could sing?? The Hoobs and tiddly peeps, is there something in England I'm missing? this one is growing on me. Pingu, I don't get it. I hate sagwa. My husband likes fifi(lol) and fireman sam.
But I love Jakers and Kipper.
Apparently I'm the only male reading this blog (or responding to it anyway). I'm not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh--just got it. It's a blog for mothers... that explains my previous observation.
Noddy (he nods) + Caillou(he's bald) = Lazy Ass Writers
I can't wait to start watching these shows . . . can't. wait.
Hmm, I don't know if we are watching the same dragon tales, BUT I have seen them breathe fire. Maybe I'm watching too much?
Oh another one(not sure if its on sprout or not) that bugs me is Curious George. Why oh why is it that everyone thinks that George is a person?(except a few characters who have never been heard from since calling him the dreaded M word?) Also- Why doesn't he have a tail?
there's really a channel called SPROUT? when i read your headline, i thought maybe it was the Organic Food channel.... interesting.
You just had me laughing out loud! Thanks for putting this all in words! I am so sure their friends make fun of them. I heard a rumor about Steve from Blues Clues trying to hook up with young mamas at bars in New York! Funny Stuff!
I can't stand the Teletubbies. They scare the hell out of me. Whoever came up with that idea had to have been on drugs.
I'm pretty sure Caillou has leukemia, which makes the show that much more politically incorrect, since they never discuss it. So very, very sad.
YES TO ALL!!
Noddy is creepy, and I think that it is japanese and dubbed over in English making it scarier.
I like Thomas better when George Carlin does it. Somehow his voice and having seen him do stand up kind of turn me on!!
Dragon tales do breathe fire once in a while, but never in a scary way - and that is LAME.
But you know whatever, as long as Toddler is quiet for 5 whole minutes I don't care.
PS - I think that Bert is gay and that Ernie has no clue that Bert is in love with him.
"make way for Noddy..Noddy!...he toots his horn to saaaayy...make way for Noddy...Noddy!...come on out and plaaaaayyy." I can sing the whole dang song for you.
Yeah, I don't understand why the Berenstein bears haven't updated their look since we were kids (poor Mamma was frumpy back then, too).
I think Bert and Ernie are brothers...why else would Ernie be so damn annoying to Bert?
Teletubbies? Neither of my kids will watch...mostly because I can't stomach it...it's just WEIRD!
I was okay with Dragon Tales until they added their Columbian cousin, Enrique..."in Columbia...in Columbia...in Columbia"...they're just trying to jump on the Dora/Diego bandwagon.
Obama is a copycat. ;)
Alec and George did those Thomas voice overs ages ago...we have a bunch of the videos and Gavin's 4 and the videos are older than he is by like 10 years...George probaby for his grandkids; Alec for his kid.
Gavin loves Caillou...I always wondered why he was bald yet his baby sister has hair, as do his parents and grandparents. Odd.
Well, Nina and Star are way better than the other gal that was let go for having suggestive photography done of her!
I always thought Caillou was recovering from cancer treatment.
And I'm pretty sure Telletubbies looks just like the rest of the world looked to my daughter when she was one - she spoke like them, always carried a handbag and was obsessed by the vaccuum cleaner.
Personally, I think Nina on The Good Night Show is a babe. I know...I know...you think I'm a perv...she's still hot!
my dear god
don't the beranstain bears have a costume change
and whats up with "sprout diner"
they probaly have sex in the janitors closet after they close up
Why is Caillou almost ALWAYS in shorts and tee shirts when everyone else is in pants and long sleeves? They're in Canada for godsake!
Why in the world doesn't Nina ever change her pajamas? (To quote my 2 year old "ewww, stinky")
Why don't the cow and horse talk on Jakers? Ferny's a cow. The sheep can talk but the mean ram doesn't.
And this just cracks me up...on Zooboombafo the song that Zaboo sings when the Kratt brothers are going out, "they're going to the closet..."
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