HFM and Mad Baby Disease

So - apparently children can get bovine illnesses. You know - hoof and mouth disease? Yeah, well - apparently babies get that, too, except that they call it "hand foot mouth." And Sumo has it.

My reaction to this diagnosis is, "What's next? Does Sumo also get Mad Baby Disease?"

Hopefully not.

So - let me back up. this past week, the family we share the nanny with didn't bother to call and tell me that their son was running a fever. They claimed the fever was "low-grade" when I asked about it upon seeing that their child seemed ill, and discovered their idea of "low-grade" was 102. They thought the kid was teething. *snort* Yeah, thanks for that. If I'd known their kid was sick, I would have kept Sumo at home. However, by the time I determined their kid was sick, I knew Sumo was going to get it so there was no point in my taking him home. He'd already sucked on the kid's sippy cup.

Needless to say, Sumo contracted this mystery fever around 4:00 am Saturday morning, and then steadily refused to eat as the day went on. I gave him Tylenol and his fever never went away, so finally I thought it might be time to haul him into the "after hours pediatrics" place in case he had an ear infection.

What a dump. It's the baby equivalent of the Emergi-vet. Just as depressing and disease-filled. If you weren't ill before you went in there, you sure as hell are diseased before you leave. And I'm sure that all the doctors who work there are second-tier ... I don't think it's most doctors' first choice for a job when it comes to pediatrics, if you know what I mean.

So because I'm all Howard Hughes and whatnot, I can't possibly sit down on the disease-festering benches with Sumo. So instead I have to stand - holding my *gasp* 31 lbs. infant - for a solid 45 minutes. Yes, you read that right - 31 lbs. They weighed him to figure out how much Motrin I needed to give him. 11 months. 31 lbs.

By the time I was brought back to the room, my left arm was numb and a dull ache was forming in my spinal column. So the second-tier doc shows up and tells me, "Your kid has HFM" and tells me to go buy Children's Motrin - not infant. I have no idea why children's instead of infant except that he was a second tier pediatrician. Oh, and in case you're curious, HFM is sort of like chickenpox except that it causes a blistering sort of painful rash in the throat, and generally on the hands and feet, as well. It's a rather nasty virus that most kids get when they're little and thus most adults don't get. I'm crossing my fingers on that last part.

So I went and purchased the Children's Motrin and determined I have to give Sumo 1.5 tsp. of the crap. That's a lot of liquid to force down a throat that doesn't want to swallow anything due to excruciating, blistering pain. It's times like these that I bellow in impotent fury that my husband is in Iraq and can't help me hold the writhing baby down and force-feed the crap as he tries to barf it back up in my general direction.

Also I'm rather irate towards the nanny share parents. I mean - if one of them gets sick with mad cow disease, the other one serves as backup. I am unfortunately my own backup and thus find this lovely little gift to Sumo disconcerting.