This week's target? NEVADA!
I know you're going to be all "but Las Vegas is DA BOMB" and "How can you not like it?" on me. I know you're going to be all "but the food!" and "the shows!" and "the partying!" on me. But damnit I don't care. This is, after all, Totally Incensed Tuesday! I'm here to enrage.
Las Vegas? I know it's quite the spectacle out in the middle of the desert.
But it's an alarming spectacle at the same time. I'm just generally freaked out by the fake-ness of the place. You know - the fact that there is a giant pyramid, a big-assed skyline of NYC, the space needle replica, and a huge fountain/music display among other oddities. It's just so WEIRD. (Ok, I admit, it's weird in a rather over-the-top and trantastic way and I must love any place called "Sin City," but damnit I have to keep in the spirit of Totally Incensed Tuesday here, after all.)
No, it's not the people who flip those annoying card things at you with prostitute information that get to me. Nor is it the fact that it's hot as hell. Nor is it the fact that I felt like a real biotch the time I went there and some guy wanted me to roll the dice for him at the craps table because he thought I was hawt and when I rolled I lost all his money. Twice. *ahem* Nor is it the fact that people get married by Elvis and on the Star Trek replica. (I admit, I wanted to get married by Fat Elvis but Granilla vetoed that idea. It would have been totally hawt and Mr. Tranny Head and I are planning a vow renewal by Fat Elvis sometime in the future.)
My main issue is that I never make good money there. The last time I was there, I left up $.55, and the time before I was up about $30. WTF does a tranny head have to do to get some gambling love up in there? Eff you, Vegas.
Eww - and Carrot Top lives there. Who the hell pays for tickets to see that hawt mess? *gag*
And really, have you BEEN to North Las Vegas? *shudder* I think half of all Cops episodes are filmed there. It's a total hell-hole. Don't ask me why I went there because I won't tell you.
And can anybody tell me why they call it "Nevaaaaada" instead of "Nevahdah?" I hate that.
Ok, so I know there's more to Nevada than just Las Vegas. But there's nothing else worthwhile. So I'll end it with, of course, my normal conclusion: Nevada sucks!!! Disagree with me? Then vote away in this week's poll!
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PS - Some of you careful and astute readers may have noticed that I am adding some advertising to my blog. Why yes, yes I am! The only reason I mention this is that I'd like you all to know that the revenue generated is going into a "Sumo Outings" fund. I'm not profiting from it, in other words. I figure that since Sumo is the source of most of my material, he should at least benefit from my blogging, right? HAWT!
20 comments:
I've been to Nevada (Vegas) once. There's something uniquely American about it, in its excess and defiance of its natural environment. But once was enough.
I love Las Vegas. I really, really do. The rest of Nevada can suckit, though.
Nevada is a pit. One of my brothers did get married in LV but unfortunately it was not by Elvis. So, I can't make that much fun of him (or his wife!) Damn.
I've never been to Las Vegas. But the rest of Nevada? Broils in the summer, freezes in the winter and a big ol' dessert. Yuck.
Haven't gotten a chance to go to Nevada yet. So I have no real opinion.
I love TIT. I can't wait for you to do NY. Talk about material. (You haven't don't it yet right? I just looked and didn't see it.)
Did fat elvis marry Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman?
I took the job in DC, they offered even more money then I expected.
Email me and I will give you some hints to TITing Kentucky, the er bluegrass state.
TR
Hawt TIT!
Not so much love for Sin City. They call it that for a reason, right?
I like Tahoe, have never been to Vegas, but HONEY! You forgot something major: hello! it must suck if they do nucular (hahah) testing there.
Um, Budman wanted to be married by a midget (sorry, little person) Elvis in Vegas. We didn't do it, though...
Maybe for our 10th anniversary, we'll do a renewal.
You forgot hookers and aliens! There might even be alien hookers, I don't know.
Nevada sucks. I don't like Vegas and the rest of the state is a wasteland. A very large, very hot wasteland.
Ugh. I now fully realize how much I hate Nevada.
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE Vegas. I hate it all, but maybe the part I hate the most is the way there are little 3 and 4 year-old kids sleeping on the benches just inside the doors of casinos at 3am...waiting for their parents to come out.
The end.
Apparently I'm the first person to vote that I got married by Elvis in Vegas. Believe it or not, I'm actually almost telling the truth. In 1993 I got married in a quickie ceremony in Reno, and six months later got a quickie Reno divorce. Viva Nevada.
I've noticed that you haven't crossed off Iowa, Nebraska or the Dakotas, Wisconsin or Illinois... if you need some inside info on those places, I know them well.
Hubby and I are in a long-distance relationship...so any 'green bean' action involves one of us driving from Nebraska to Minnesota - via Iowa.
We've spent some not-so quality time in the Dakotas. Wisconsin writes its own jokes -- the classic rest area provides the following: beer, cheese, fireworks and porn -- and there is a town in Illinois that I'm sure is inhabited by zombies.
We have a city here in MO that is named Nevada and I want to know why we do not say it like the state is pronounced. They call it "Nevahdah?" I hate that. I also want to know why it is not Ar-Kansas?
Finally crawled out of my hole. Man have I missed your TITS. *ahem*
So besides my aunt in Vegas who gave me my first pairs of thongs as a Sweet-16 b-day present, all the rest of NV sucks.
I grew up Nevada. Carson City mostly and I can't say that it holds much appeal for me either. If you really want to enjoy Nevada, you need to go to Lake Tahoe. Summer or Winter, it's always gorgeous.
I can hardly wait for you to do the other states I have lived in.
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