This week's target? Washington.
Look. I know Seattle is all svelte and sexy with its angst-filled residents in swanky live-music coffee bars and its organic farmers' markets. But can anybody tell me why everybody walks around looking so damn self-important, there? Maybe it has something to do with the perpetual misery of the wetness.
The worst part about the moisture is that it's not even REAL rain. It's just misty dampness. The kind that makes my tranny hair go simultaneously flat AND frizzy. (Does anyone else have this problem?)
Besides. Washington is the home of the evil corporate Starbucks empire. I have always thought this was somewhat ironic. Tons of anti-corporate snobs live in Seattle, and yet somehow it is the home of the ultimate corporation. (PS - long live the Peppermint mocha!)
And don't forget about the Experience Music Project. This was the brainchild of another ultimate corporate figurehead: Paul Allen (cofounder of Microsoft). I don't care what you say about its architecture. I think it looks like a giant arse.
And I think the space needle is fugly, too. Yes. I said it. Ugly. I know some people will be all "the space needle is the lady and the EMP is her clothes tossed aside." But really, if that's all you're showing us, couldn't you have kept the clothes on?
Because Seattle sucks, the rest of the state sucks, too, damnit. So I'll draw that same conclusion that I always draw: Washington sucks!
20 comments:
Okay Tranny Head, I gotta vote here. Because Washington? Ne sucks pas.
Rain?
Sucks.
Traffic?
Sucks.
But Washington?
Gorgeous. And very un-sucky.
PS- I second your cheer to the Peppermint Mocha!
mmm You lost me at Peppermint Mocha.
Ooooh *rubs hands together* I've been waiting for this day. *cue evil laughter*
You cannot forget the other evil conglomerates that call/have called Washington home:
* Microsoft
* Boeing
* Nordstroms
Oh and you cannot forget the fact that WE? are the reason YOU pay for bottled water- oh didn't you know? Bottled water that innocous little substance comes from Washington originally.
Or what about the fish? I mean really what is so darned special about a SALMON?
Or how about how our awesome state mineral? Is petrified wood?! (check it out if you don't believe me)
Or the fact that our Ferries look the same from both ends.
The only redeeming factor for it(cause Starbucks = puke, seriously way way better coffee can be found around here) is the closeness to Canada. Seriously that? is the only saving grace.
But it still SUCKS.
peppermint mochas? mmmmmmmmmm
Never been to Washington, sadly, but have heard nothing but good things about it. And the pictures are gorgeous. Can't go along with you on this one.
Rain is actually awesome (what can I say? I've lived in swampy places and it's "me"). And the rainforest is beautiful. And the mountains...er, volcanos...are lovely too (when they aren't exploding. I was there in 80. That stuff's nasty).
But I agree, the Needle is ugly and the EMP is stupid.
But in that area? They have an homage to geekness--the SciFi Museum. It's kinda awesome in it's kitch.
I gotta say I love your TITs. Cough.
This is my first visit here. I'm from Washington - what a coincidence.
Mostly it doesn't suck.
I do agree with the self important people walking around Seattle - totally agree with that.
Oh - where's Cee? I want to hear what she has to say about this.
oh...and the Seattle Acquarium stinks. Although, that might be because my brother and I are banned for life.
I've heard it's beautiful there but I've never been. Therefore I cannot pass judgement. Aren't I sweet?!
Me. I have that hair problem. It sucks. But I still really want to visit Washington.
I was waiting for you to poke at it for Twilight - set in Forks. Or Amazon for being another evil empire.
Sorry I'm late... I had to run out and get a peppermint mocha.
I can't stand any place that rains that much. I need sunshine.
Don't they have a high rate of suicides too. But like everyone else all I can think about is getting a peppermint mocha. Yum.
And Amazon.
Megalomaniac bookseller.
Ok I agree about the Nasty EMP- it's disgusting looking. I can't decide whether a 5 year old or a grown up on acid designed it... another reason to hate washington is the viaduct (BUTT UGLY- waste of waterfront if you ask me). Oh and once you leave Seattle, the rest of the state is filled with hicks and rednecks.
BUT: you can't beat the beauty- Mt. Rainier, Olympic Mountains, Cascade Mountains, Puget Sound, and the green everywhere. Oh and I LOVE the rain. You are right that it isn't always real pouring down rain (like they have in Chicago) but we have perpetual wetness falling from the sky in the form of light showers and I LOVE IT.
I WILL admit that the people in Seattle are uber snobbish but really, they are just California transplants (they are RUINING our state!). No offense Californians.
Most big cities suck. So there.
I will never visit and agree that it sucks anyway. Because of the rain. I do hate it to be constantly raining. I need my sunshine!!!
But I didn't know they had a SciFi Museum... that intrigues the geek in me...
Been there once and really don't care to go back again because I also had the flat and frizzy phenom. Besides the Starbucks (talking about you, limited availability Honey Latte and Peppermint Mocha Twist Latte...*drool*), Washington sucks. Remember Mt. St. Helen? Yeah...sucks so bad even the fraggin' mountain blew up.
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